ukulele – Ukulele Guy

Time to hurt some feelings – Portland Man by Ukulele Guy

I'd like to consider myself as a fairly nice guy. I mean, I'm not a totally sociopath at least. I honestly want other people to be happy and whatnot. But, all that said, I can definitely tell you that as I age (poorly) I find that I have less and less tolerance for douchebaggery. Odd... for some reason my spellcheck is telling me that douchebaggery isn't a word. Clearly this thing is faulty.

Anyway, despite all of my best intentions. I often find myself writing "mean" songs. Some of the oldest Volumen songs (and nearly all the PWT songs) are mean to some person or other. I guess I just can't help being an asshole. But, on the opposite side of it. It never hurts to take yourself less seriously, right? I mean, I'm more than willing to have it thrown right back in my face.

So, why all the setup? Well, being a "weirdo" into "weird music" I have lots of "weird" friends (surprisingly enough). Well, I love all of those weirdos and the weirdos that they introduce me into in other town. But, in my journeys and tours (especially in Seattle and Portland) I've noticed a particular kind of (slightly disingenuous) weirdo. So, I attempted to document this character in song. I probably should have written another verse or two, but you know how I roll. I'd rather just blast a song out and then never look back. So, let's blast away, shall we?

If you feel like playing along. Here's the tabs. NOTE: In my head the parentheses are a call and response type of thing. So, I'm hoping my brother will sing those parts for me if we manage to play this live ever.

Portland Man by Ukulele Guy

A
He got tight pants (high waters)
C
white belt (doesn't matter)
D
He got a squiggly design on his v-neck shirt
C                         D7
5 o'clock shadow and his feelings are hurt

A
He's got principles (I believe him)
C
LAST YEAR HE WAS ALMOST TOTALLY VEGAN
D
He heard about your favorite band before you did
C D7
you read it in mojo (he already knew it)

twirly C             A
He's a..... Portland man
twirly C   F G
Portland man
He's a..... Portland man

twirly C D7
A
He's got lady friends (ad infinitim)
C
longboards (oh, he'll ride 'em)
D
he knows a little place that has the best soy latte
C                          D7
he's got perfect hair, and glitter on his body

He rocks facial hair (with irony)
he digs mp3 piracy
his cigarette brand? (american spirits)
you like his messenger bag? don't get near it

chorus

He's a...
C                                  E7
adorable hipster, but he's gaining weight
F                           G
because that pabst blue ribbon tastes so great

Video: Dead Puppies on a 6-String Uke

Well, if you ever wanted to know what Dead Puppies sounded like when it was being performed by a traveling minstrel on a lute. I can help you out. Well, I don't actually have a lute, but I assume it sounds much like my 6-string ukulele.

What's that? You don't know what Dead Puppies is? Holy crap. Didn't you listen to the Dr. Demento show on the radio, growing up? What's that? You don't know what the radio is? Freaking kids today and your fancy interwebs and whatnot.

Here's a live version of Ogden Edsl rocking Dead Puppies. I dunno about you guys, but I totally want to hang with these dudes. Maybe it's the beard talking.

And here is my bathroom version of Dead Puppies.

This song is just one of those touchstones for me. I can't explain in. In fact, my brothers and I are working on a ridiculous requirements for our funerals. For example, the other brothers have to have Coolio hair, or everyone at the funeral must listen to 3 hours of my old 4-track recordings.... etc. Well, I'm pretty sure Dead Puppies is going to need to be played at my funeral and my ghost will ensure that everyone is singing along.

Video: Kazookeylele – Final Countdown

So, you know who I want in my corner when the S really hits the F. (Why couldn't I spell Fan? Good Question). I don't want Indiana Jones, I don't want Boba Fett.... I need this guy right here. I can just tell that he's who you need in your corner in a clutch cargo situation.

I'm also thinking how to take this thing to the next level. I mean, how many nerdy instruments can we combine? For example, the accordion appears to be sadly lacking. Not that I'm knocking the Kazookeylele. I would literally kill my own brother to own one. But, while I dreaming, can't I dream of a version that has an accordion and theremin built in? I think so.

Anyway, moving onward. How about the song choice for this video? I think one of my first ever posts was of this same fella doing Bohemian Rhapsody. I think Final Countdown might even be a better representation of the Kazookeylele, although I'm not sure which video was first. I think maybe this one was. So, he might have redone the instrument since then. I'll find out when I start stalking him. 😉

Ukulele Pichu, the ukulele-wielding pokemon

I'm not exactly sure how I stumbled upon this, but apparently there is going to be (or already is?) a new Pokemon game for the DS. It's called Pokemon Ranger: Guardian Signs. Anyway, your sidekick in this adventure is a little guy named Ukulele Pichu. Yup, he's awesome. Check out this picture.

How long do you think it will be before you can buy a ukulele that looks just like Ukulele Pichu's uke? Let's hope it's not very long because that thing looks rad. I don't know much more about the game, but here's the trailer if you are interested.

Video Cover: Bed Intruder – my perky interpretation

Alright, so I'm sure y'all have seen the Bed Intruder auto-tune song like a bajillion times (hell, you can buy it on freaking itunes), but just in case you haven't:

Ahh... damn, that's good stuff. I had to snap myself out of it just now because I was starting it for the 4th time. I think I have a problem. I've also been trying to seek out alternate versions and covers because there's loads of em out there. Here's two of my other favorites.

Bed Intruder Shamisen Cover:

Bed Intruder Mario Paint Cover:

Ok. I think I got enough of a fix to move on with the post now. Sorry, I can't stop myself. Anyway, I wanted to do a ukulele cover of Bed Intruder, but a quick search showed that like 10,000 people already had that idea. So... hmm... what does that leave? Well, how about a perky Edwardian-era interpretation? Imagine this version booming out of your Victrola. Oh hells yah!

If, for some crazy reason, you want to play my version, here's the chords:

Bed Intruder - a perky interpretation by Ukulele Guy
G - 0232
A7 - 0100
D - 2220
D7 - 2223
B7 -2322
B - 4322
Em - 4432

     G               A7
he's climbin in your windows
     D             B7
he's snatchin your people up
      E7-4445    A7
tryna rape em so y'all need to
D                         B
hide your kids, hide your wife
Em                        A7
hide your kids, hide your wife
B                         
hide your kids, hide your wife
       G             A7  D
and it wouldn't be a bad idea
             D
to hide your husband
     Em           A7          B7
cuz they're rapin errbody out here
     Em           A7          D
cuz they're rapin errbody out here
G                 A7       D
you don't have to come and confess
       B7
we're lookin for you
E7-4445         A7
we gon find you
D           B
we gon find you
Em                 A7
so you can run and tell that,
B
run and tell that
Em    A7    D
home, home, homeboy

            E7
we got your t-shirt
              A7               D-2225  C#-6544 B7
you done left fingerprints and all
           E7
you are so dumb
               A7          D-2225  C#-6544 B7
you are really dumb--for real
        G                       A7
the man got away leaving behind evidence
D-2225                     B7
i was attacked by some idiot in the projects
G           A7       D
so dumb, so dumb, so dumb, so
G           A7       D
so dumb, so dumb, so dumb, so

     G               A7
he's climbin in your windows
     D             B7
he's snatchin your people up
      E7-4445    A7
tryna rape em so y'all need to
D                         B
hide your kids, hide your wife
Em                        A7
hide your kids, hide your wife
B                         
hide your kids, hide your wife
       G             A7  D
and it wouldn't be a bad idea
             D
to hide your husband
     Em           A7          D7
cuz they're rapin errbody out here