Ukulele Guy

You know how it is. You have some songs that are just touchstones. Every time you hear them they transport you back to a certain place in time or maybe just trigger your brain to release extra serotonin or something. Well, for me, one of those touchstones is Dance Hall Days by Wang Chung. If you aren't familiar, check out this video. Note, there are two videos for this song, but the following video is better for reasons listed below the video.

1. Gum-chewing violin player looking directly into your soul
2. Sweaters!
3. Sweaters tucked into pleated pants!
4. You can almost hear the video director's instructions to the band. "Ok guys, I need you to look like condescending pricks who are laughing over some hilarious inside joke. Can you do that?"

Sadly, my video has none of that.

Here are my corrected tabs.

 Wang Chung - Dance Hall Days
 tabs by Ukulele Guy

Note: Except for the Chorus, play the F, C and G like so:
F - 2030
C - 0033
G - 0232

 F  C  G  F  C  G  F  C  G  F  C  G 

[Verse]
 F              C            G
Take your baby by the hand
 F              C            G
And make her do a high hand stand
 F              C            G
Take your baby by the heel
 F                       C            G
And do the next thing that you feel

[Refrain]:
(play single note)
        F   C G
We were so in phase
        F    C    G
In our dance hall days
        F    C   G
We were cool on craze
(play chords again)
    F   C        C5       G
When I, you, and everyone we knew
        F     E        A        B     C
Could believe, do, and share in what was true
[Chorus]
             F  C  G                        F  C  G
Oh, I said             Dance hall days love

[2nd Verse]
F              C      G
Take your baby by the hair
F                      C           G
And pull her close and there there there
F              C      G
Take your baby by the ears
    F             C       G
And play upon her darkest fears

[Refrain]

[Longer Chorus]
             F  C  G                        F  C  G
Oh, I said              Dance hall days love

                F  C  G                        F  C  G
Dance hall days            Dance hall days love

[3rd Verse]
   F              C      G
So take your baby by the wrist
    F               C      G
And in her mouth an amethyst
    F               C           G
And in her eyes two sapphires blue
    F                C          G
And you need her and she needs you
    F                C          G
And you need her and she needs you
    F                C          G
And you need her and she needs you
    F                C          G
And you need her and she needs you
    F            C  G
And you need her... and she needs you

[Refrain]

[Chorus]
             F  C  G                        F  C  G
Oh, I said             Dance hall days love

                F  C  G                        F  C  G
                         Dance hall days love

                F  C  G                        F  C  G
dance hall days           Dance hall days love

                F  C  G                        F  C  G
dance hall days           Dance hall days love 

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Well, I somehow stumbled upon this little slice of rad pie.  Heh, I say "stumbled" but you know full well that it's more like "obsessively searching".  Anyway, this bird-shirted origami expert designed a kit so that you too can own your own folding Ukulele!  Sure, it's pretty easy to travel with a ukulele, but wouldn't it be easier if the entire neck folded into the body of the ukulele?  Yup, I thought so.  Check out these pictures.

Origami Folding Ukulele

Origami Folding Mini Ukulele

Pardon me while I wipe the drool off of my mouth.  The frustrating thing for me is how the hell am I ever going to be able to own EVERY unique ukulele out there if geniuses like this guy keep making more?!  Anyway, check out this video that explains how you can fold this baby up.

Sadly, if you wanted one of these before Christmas, you needed to have placed your order already.  But, what better thing to spend all that Xmas loot your parents are going to send you, right?

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I can't believe I haven't made a video with my Kookalele or Surfalele yet.  Blasphemy!  In my defense, I think I was waiting for the new strings to come in.  But, I couldn't resist it any longer.  So, here is a quick video that shows you 3 out of the 4 "Kooky Ukes" from Swagerty.  Don't hold your breath for the 4th one (The Lil' Guitar).  I saw one on eBay recently and it was like $600.  Oof.

Oh yeah, I apologize for the crazy noise during parts of the video.  That is what it sounds like when someone (in this case, my foxy wife) runs the vacuum cleaner in the room above my office.

Oh yeah, if you don't recognize that song, then you should check out this madness.  And, if you like the look of these title sequence then you should totally start watching this show.  It rules!

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I'm not exactly sure how I found this. Oh wait, yeah I am. So, I setup an automatic eBay search to tell me whenever a Tangi ukulele gets posted. Why would I do that? Hmm.. maybe you haven't heard of the miniature Tangi ukulele? This thing makes the Kala Pocket Ukulele look like an upright bass.

So, I MUST have one, thus the automatic search.

Well, you can imagine my surprise when my eBay search net caught a whale instead of a minnow. Yup, besides making the world's smallest ukulele, Tangi also makes the world's largest playable ukulele. Look at this freaking thing!

Tangi Giant Ukulele

It makes an upright bass look like... well, I guess it would still look like an upright bass.  But, this thing is HUGE!  What's more, it's for sale on eBay (click the picture).  But, get ready for disappointment, unless you are some sort of debutante or one of the Koch brothers.   A cool five grand is what it's going to take to get your hands on that baby.  Plus, you still need to drive to Hawaii and get it.  Yes, drive.... floating car.  Duh.  Anyway, here's some more details on this monster.

It weighs 40 lbs and is 6 1/2 feet tall.  Tangi made the ukulele in 1996 for Tangi Tully's birthday.  It took 27 Tangi employees a full month to build it.  This giant ukulele is completely tunable and playable.  The tuners were custom machined.  The body of this massive ukulele is mahogany and the fretboard and bridge are ebony.  The white inlay is made of ox bone and the inlay is mother of pearl.  In short, this isn't a cheap decoration.  This is a freaking work of art.  Now, give me money so I can buy it.

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As you probably all know, I'm an unabashed Stephin Merritt groupie. Magnetic Fields, Gothic Archies, you name it. I like it all. I just can't get enough of his gloomy pop melodies. So, of course I was going to buy the new record, Obscurities.

This was right around my birthday, that I went looking.  And, sure enough, when I tried to purchase the CD, Amazon warned me that someone might have already bought it for me.  Eh?!  Huzzah!  Turns out it was my sweet peach of a wife.  Anyway, the whole record is pretty good, but two songs, in particular, really stand out.  The first is the more electronic version of "I don't believe you" (a folkier version having been released on the "I" record).  The second highlight of the record is a previously unreleased song called "When you're young and in love".  And, that's the song I can't get outta my blasted head.  So, I attempted to exorcise it through ukulele video.

Since I couldn't find any chords for this song already posted out there, I came up with the following arrangement.  The only questionable chord in there is Dm7.  But, I didn't have the CD handy when I did this so I couldn't really compare it.  When I listen to it again, I'll update these chords if that Dm7 sounds goofy.

When You're Young and In Love
by Stephin Merritt

Tabs by Ukulele Guy

C   - 0003
G   - 0232
Am  - 2000
Em  - 4432
F   - 0201
Dm7 - 2213 

        C                        G
You can teeter on the brink of a precipice
Am                 Em
Ov'r an infinitely deep abyss
F                    C
And somehow not even notice this
                         G
When you're young and in love

        C                   G
You can grow a little older every day
Am                     Em
Watch your stupid life wasting away
F                     C
Somehow everything is a-ok
                         G
When you're young and in love

                F
But when you're not,
             C
The poisoned fangs of time
   G
Become quite plain
            F
When you're not,
          C
It almost seems a crime
Dm7       G
Not to go insane

You can whirl and twirl on the world's carousel
Hurdle round and round, and feel quite well
Never even knowing you're in hell
When you're young and in love

You can know the world has nothing left to give
Be condemned to die, content to live,
And be happy--if and only if, you're young and in love

But when you're not,
The poisoned fangs of time
Become quite plain
When you're not,
It almost seems a crime
Not to go insane

You can teeter on the brink of a precipice
(A precipice!)
Ov'r an infinitely deep abyss
(A deep abyss!)
And somehow not even notice this
When you're young and in love

You can grow a little older every day
(Old, every day!)
Watch your stupid life wasting away
(Wasting away!)
Somehow everything is a-ok
When you're young and in love

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I just randomly stumbled across this video recently.  It looks like it was also featured on NPR, so I'm not sure how I missed it there.  Anyway, it's Lisa Hannigan (who I might need to learn more about).  She has an amazing voice and she's Irish.  So, that's a win/win.  Oh yeah, and she plays ukulele!

I guess they filmed this video in Dublin and they did it in one take.  Once you see the video you'll see why she might have been reluctant to do a second take.  It seems like they start off having the different paint represent different instruments but then it sorta goes haywire.  Anyway, it's a nice little song, even if the ukulele isn't the main component.

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As I mentioned in an earlier swagerty post, I have a Treholipee that has a broken tuning paddle.  As I also mentioned in that post, I got an e-mail (from a fella named Larry) describing how he fixed a similar problem.  I wanted to post it here (with Larry's blessing) so other enterprising folks can make use of this info.

If you recall, Larry managed to pick up a Treholipee for a $1 at a garage sale (for this, I will always be jealous of him).  His Treholipee, like mine, is missing a string as well as a tuning paddle.  Now, Larry is using fishing line to replace his strings.

Here's a handy tip for you and all those fellow Uke fans out there who
need replacement strings. Nylon fishing line of various weights works very
well once you let it stretch in a few days (and it costs a WHOLE lot less!).
It just takes a little patience needing to retune a few times. Pete Seeger
talked about replacing banjo strings with nylon monofilament fishing line
starting with 10 lb. test through 50 lb. test depending on the diameter
needed.

If you don't fancy fishing line, though, you can get Worth tenor ukulele strings in lengths of 46" and that should work for you.

Anyway, back to the task of fixing the broken tuning paddle.  Larry has found himself with a surplus of chopsticks.  And, he was able to find a chopstick of the appropriate diameter to fit right in the hole for the Treholipee tuning paddle.  Check out this rad picture:

Treholipee Improvided Paddle Repair

Now all he has to do is cut it to length and stain it black.  I should mention that another suggestion I got on paddle repair was to use a clay mold of one of the other paddles and possibly cast it out of plastic.  If I can get motivated, I might try that out and I'll let everyone know how it goes.

When I got my first Treholipee I was a little unsure about how to tune it.  I've since found out that the Treholipee was meant to be tuned as a "tenor ukulele, tenor banjo, plectrum banjo, tenor guitar or baritone uke."  Larry, being a banjo player, went this route:

I decided that I did'nt need to learn new chords if I would simply string it like the top 4 strings of my banjo, open G (DGBD). Good idea, but much too low. Some strings buzzed. A little research showed that some uke's are tuned to an open C but not the same as a banjo open C. I put a capo on my banjo at the 5th fret and found that GBEG was the open C tuning that would let me take advantage of my knowledge and still play this sweet little instrument like a pro. All of my wife's doubts were swept away when I serenaded her with "Tonight you belong to me".

Awesome!

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I'd like to consider myself as a fairly nice guy.  I mean, I'm not a totally sociopath at least.  I honestly want other people to be happy and whatnot.  But, all that said, I can definitely tell you that as I age (poorly) I find that I have less and less tolerance for douchebaggery.  Odd... for some reason my spellcheck is telling me that douchebaggery isn't a word.  Clearly this thing is faulty.

Anyway, despite all of my best intentions.  I often find myself writing "mean" songs.  Some of the oldest Volumen songs (and nearly all the PWT songs) are mean to some person or other.  I guess I just can't help being an asshole.  But, on the opposite side of it.  It never hurts to take yourself less seriously, right?  I mean, I'm more than willing to have it thrown right back in my face.

So, why all the setup?  Well, being a "weirdo" into "weird music" I have lots of "weird" friends (surprisingly enough).  Well, I love all of those weirdos and the weirdos that they introduce me into in other town. But, in my journeys and tours (especially in Seattle and Portland) I've noticed a particular kind of (slightly disingenuous) weirdo.  So, I attempted to document this character in song.  I probably should have written another verse or two, but you know how I roll.  I'd rather just blast a song out and then never look back.  So, let's blast away, shall we?

If you feel like playing along.  Here's the tabs.  NOTE:  In my head the parentheses are a call and response type of thing.  So, I'm hoping my brother will sing those parts for me if we manage to play this live ever.

Portland Man by Ukulele Guy

A
He got tight pants (high waters)
C
white belt (doesn't matter)
D
He got a squiggly design on his v-neck shirt
C                         D7
5 o'clock shadow and his feelings are hurt

A
He's got principles (I believe him)
C
LAST YEAR HE WAS ALMOST TOTALLY VEGAN
D
He heard about your favorite band before you did
C D7
you read it in mojo (he already knew it)

twirly C             A
He's a..... Portland man
twirly C   F G
Portland man
He's a..... Portland man

twirly C D7
A
He's got lady friends (ad infinitim)
C
longboards (oh, he'll ride 'em)
D
he knows a little place that has the best soy latte
C                          D7
he's got perfect hair, and glitter on his body

He rocks facial hair (with irony)
he digs mp3 piracy
his cigarette brand? (american spirits)
you like his messenger bag? don't get near it

chorus

He's a...
C                                  E7
adorable hipster, but he's gaining weight
F                           G
because that pabst blue ribbon tastes so great

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So, apparently it's not enough that I'm addicted to ukuleles and the collection of said ukuleles.  As you might recall, I recently got my hands on a Swagerty Singing Treholipee.  Now, unfortunately, mine is a little janky.  It's missing a tuning paddle (yup, paddle) and a string.  But, that was enough to give me a taste.  Especially after I started to hear back from other Swagerty fans.

One helpful fella (named Rick) informed me that he was the proud owner of 12 Swagerty ukuleles!!  It was at this point that I realized that Swagerty didn't just make the Treholipee.  They had a whole line of, what they called, their Kooky Ukes.  This line included the Treholipee, the Kook-a-la-lee, the surf-a-lele and the double neck kook-a-la-lee.  There is also something called the "Little Guitar"  but I'm not sure if that was considered a Kooky Uke or not.

Before I talk more about that, I wanted to mention that my string dilemma is solved!  Rick tells me that you can buy Worth tenor ukulele strings in 46" and 63" lengths.  And, since the Treholipee is 47" long (in total) the 47" lengths are more than adequate to re-string this baby.  It looks like Elderly Instruments might carry these, so let me know if you have luck getting some there and let them know I sent you.  Maybe they'll hook me up.  Because, something tells me I'm going to be doing a lot of string-buying for Kooky Ukes in the near future.

Now, about my broken tuning paddle, that's a whole 'nother problem.  I've been waiting for one to pop up on eBay, but I imagine that's going to increasingly rare.  Rick suggested taking a clay mold and casting a new one (maybe out of plastic).  I might also bug some of my wood-working friends and see if they can't put something together for me.  Another fella contacted me and let me know he bought a Treholipee at a garage sale for $1.  Grrrr... but he had the same problem of a broken tuning paddle.  But, he fixed that by using (get this) a chopstick!  Awesome!

So, back to my addiction.  Today, I found myself buying another Treholipee.  Yup, that's right.  I bought another one and this one has all of its paddles and strings!  So, while I anxiously await my Treholipee's arrival I can tell you what I've learned so far.

Swagerty was a copy started, and owned, by Ancil Swagerty.  It sounds like he started out making guitars and ukuleles more as art or wall decorations and then was convinced to turn them into playable instruments.  His company (whose full name was "Swagerty Specialties Company, Artistry in Woods") made instruments, oddities and other things from the 50s through the 70s.  Here's what I've found out about some of those instruments so far:

Treholipee - Ancil was granted a patent for the Treholipee in 1966.  I think I read that roughly 60,000 of these little babies were manufactured.  The Treholipee seems to have been the flagship for Swagerty's Kooky Ukes line of instruments.  Both the Treholipee and the Kook-a-Lele had long headstocks and the idea was the surfers could stick the instruments upside-down in the sand when it was time for surfin'.  The Treholipee is 47" long and, as far as I can tell, they can in yellow, orange or green.  You might wonder where the name came for this little beauty?  Well, it seems like the "Tre" is for three.  The "Holi" is for holes (or holy, get it).  And I have no idea what the "pee" is all about.  Here's a picture from the Frets.com Ukulele museum.  You see, the sound holes are those three little music notes.

Swagerty Singing Treholipee

Kook-a-La-Lee - The Kook-a-La-Lee seems to have been a close relation to the Treholipee.  The main differences are that it was two inches shorter (at 45") and the headstock was straight and not curved.  Another difference is that the Kook-a-La-Lee has a heart-shaped sound hole and not the three music note holes sported by the Treholipee.  Here's a picture from Eldery Instruments.

Double-neck Kook-a-La-Lee - There was, apparently a variation of the Kook-a-La-Lee that had two necks!!  From what I've read, these were made specially for friends and were never marketed to the general public.  Besides having two necks, they are also different from the standard Kook-a-La-Lee in that the sound holes are round and not heart-shaped.  The decal on the body also just says Kook-a-La-Lee.  I'm almost certainly going to have to kill someone to get one of these.  Here's a picture from the Frets.com ukulele museum.

Surf-a-Lele - The Surf-a-Lele was like a compact version of the Kook-a-La-Lee.  I think the idea was that it needed to be smaller so that you could play it while you were surfing.  Now, how anyone was going to hear you over the raging surf, or what was going to happen to your Surf-a-Lele when you fell into the water?  Well, I can't answer that.  He's a picture from Elderly Instruments.

Swagerty Surf-a-Lele

Little Guitar - From what I've read so far, this little number is the white Sasquatch of the Kooky-Ukes line.  Meaning, it's crazy rare.  That's weird to me, because it probably has the most "normal" appearance of the whole line.  These made their appearance somewhere between 1964 and 1968.

Swagerty Little Guitar

Ok.  That's enough lesson time for today.  Next time we can talk about the knock-offs that were spawned by the Kooky Uke series.  That would include the Polk-a-Lay-Lee and the Wander-Le-Le.  Time enough for that later, though.

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Best Match Time: ending soonest Time: newly listed Price: lowest first Price: highest first Price + Shipping: lowest first Price + Shipping: highest first

VINTAGE POLK A LAY LEE PETERSEN USA UKULELE UKE SUPER COOL    US $195.00

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Freaking Kala does it again.  What did they do?  They made me NEED yet another ukulele-related instrument.  I know, I have a problem.  Or, rather, I have a disease and the only cure is more UKULELE!  (and beer)

Anyway, check out a picture of the new Kala Subductive Solid Body U-bass.

Kala S-U-B Solid U-Bass Sunburst

Now if that doesn't get yer juices flowin' then you might already be dead.

So, I guess they call this baby the Subductive because of that word's relation to the Mariana Trench.  Get it?  The deepest place on Earth.  Well, if you've ever heard the apparent black magic of the low end that comes out of these U-basses then you would definitely get the reference.

I'm hoping to get my hands on one, and if I do, I'll upload some videos of it.  Now, where did I leave my bank-robbing mask and gloves?

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